Funny Airline Announcements
“Welcome aboard! To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.”
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“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 was out of this airplane.”
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“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of a water landing, please take them with our compliments.”
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“Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane until we land . . . it’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern.”
