Many people ask me why I drink so much whisky.
It’s actually because I have a genetic condition whereby my body doesn’t produce its own alcohol.
Therefore, I’m forced to take a supplement.
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This morning, I accidentally changed the GPS voice to “male”.
Now it just says, “It’s around here somewhere. Just keep driving.”
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I might wake up early and go running.
I also might wake up and win the lottery.
The odds are about the same.
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Why don’t I have any tattoos?
For the same reason you don’t put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari.
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I wonder why we are so obsessed with trying to find intelligent life on other planets . . . .
When we can’t even find any here?
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I told my suitcases that there will be no vacation this year.
Now, I having to deal with emotional baggage.
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Eighteen holes of golf match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
